"Our dates went really well. We've been talking a lot. But then he stopped talking to me for no reason. Why did it happen? Was I wrong about his interest for me?" - When I hear this question, one of the first things that go off in my head are... you may have talked to him too much.
Many women make the mistake of thinking that spending a lot of time with a man, especially early on in the getting-to-know-you phase, is a good indicator that he is very interested, and will want to spend more time with you.
But this is how a woman thinks, not the way a man thinks.
Things become clearer when you notice how men and women bond differently with people...
A woman bonds and form relationships with people by talking. But a man forms bonds with people by doing activities together. So at the end of only one long date, or after long talks on the phone, it is easy for you, a woman, to feel closer to man - without him actually feeling the same way for you.
While you were having long conversations with this man, your female instincts automatically made you feel bonded and connected with him. But to a man, having conversations with a woman doesn't impact him as much. He doesn't automatically feel closer to you just because the two of you talked. To him, he's really just using conversation to:
- try and impress you, and
- get to know you better.
But here's another danger of talking too much...
The fact is: Men like a little mystery in a woman. If early on in a relationship, you spend three hours on a date with a man, you take away the chance of letting him think and wonder about you a little longer. And when you take control of the conversation, a man begins to get the impression that you are trying to impress him. When this happens, his interest starts to drop.
It's a man's job to get to know a woman. Don't tell him everything. Let him ask you first. Don't imagine that you can attract and keep a man's interest simply by being a good conversationalist.
Women feel so confused about men because they are only seeing things from a woman's perspective. So as you begin to understand more about men, you will discover why a man behaves the way he does, and how to keep him interested.
In the meantime, do your best to practice talking less with a man. Let him lead the conversation. If you feel the need to talk, don't call a man you're interested in. Call one of your female friends to chat, and wait for him to call you instead. Let him chase you.
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