GETTING OVER IT
In the aftermath of a break up it's common to need some time to get over it, but no one wants to spend more time crying than they absolutely have to. It's not as simple as 'pulling yourself together' but there are ways to speed up your recovery.
1. Think of it as a process
Getting over a relationship is a phase, with a distinct beginning and an end. You may feel as if you'll be alone and sad forever but this isn't how you have to end your days.
Getting over a relationship is a phase, with a distinct beginning and an end. You may feel as if you'll be alone and sad forever but this isn't how you have to end your days.
Relationship break ups happen all the time and affect almost everyone.
All around you there are people who have been through the same sort of thing, picked themselves up, and started over. It can be done, so don't get overwhelmed by the size of the task or the depth of your emotions.
2. Don't fight your feelings
There are stages that most people go through after a break up and the feelings that come with them are usually normal and healthy. You may not be happy with all the effects the break up has on you (who would?) but they're not a sign of weakness or failure.
There are stages that most people go through after a break up and the feelings that come with them are usually normal and healthy. You may not be happy with all the effects the break up has on you (who would?) but they're not a sign of weakness or failure.
You are allowed to be sad, angry and miss your ex. Acknowledging these feelings and allowing yourself time to think things through will help you move closer to the end-goal: getting over it.
Warning: If you're tempted to get revenge, don't! You may feel your ex has behaved unjustly but your responsibility now is to look after yourself. If you seek revenge you could end up in all sorts of trouble and would you really be able to respect yourself afterwards?
3. Keep your perspective
Don't forget you have friends and family who care about you. Even your colleagues are likely to sympathise if you let them know you're having a tough time. Turning up to work every day will help keep you from spending your time alone dwelling on your sadness.
Don't forget you have friends and family who care about you. Even your colleagues are likely to sympathise if you let them know you're having a tough time. Turning up to work every day will help keep you from spending your time alone dwelling on your sadness.
Getting together with friends and family will inject some much needed fun into your life and should help you relax from the anxieties that come with break ups.
Knowing you are not alone is a great morale booster and will help you remember that romance is only a fraction of a full life.
Knowing you are not alone is a great morale booster and will help you remember that romance is only a fraction of a full life.
4. Write mostly about the good stuff
Keeping a diary can help you monitor your progress, but it's most helpful if you try and write more about the good stuff. You can write about how you feel, the sleepless nights and other negative side effects too, just keep it brief. Try and write down the things that are positive, even if these are only tiny improvements.
Keeping a diary can help you monitor your progress, but it's most helpful if you try and write more about the good stuff. You can write about how you feel, the sleepless nights and other negative side effects too, just keep it brief. Try and write down the things that are positive, even if these are only tiny improvements.
A short entry every day will help you make progress. If you fill it in before you go to bed, then you can fall asleep with positive thoughts to counterbalance the upsetting ones.
5. Try to forgive
This is tough, because it will feel as if you're being proactively nice to someone who hurt you deeply. However, if you can manage to think of your ex and the break up without wanting to scream or throw something then you know you're making a solid recovery.
This is tough, because it will feel as if you're being proactively nice to someone who hurt you deeply. However, if you can manage to think of your ex and the break up without wanting to scream or throw something then you know you're making a solid recovery.
Don't rush it, or pressure yourself. No one expects you to be best friends!
You may not be able to forgive, or it may take a very long time, but trying is the important part.
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