Meet the Parents: What to Do When Meeting Potential In-Laws for the First Time

Meeting your significant other's family for the first time is one of the most daunting moments in the relationship. Though it seems like this should be a simple enough thing, you would be surprised at the number of people who fail this important

test of a relationship's strength. The way in which you behave when meeting potential future in-laws for the first time not only sets the precedent for your relationship with partner's parents, but also gives your partner a stronger understanding of your maturity level and potential for a lasting relationship. If he/she does not have the blessing of their family to pursue a life with you, chances are they won't remain in the relationship. Remember, most parents are not looking to find fault with you for the sake of finding fault. Most just want to make sure that their son/daughter is in a healthy relationship with a sane, stable and respectful mate. Here are some tips to make the first meeting with your significant other's family members a positive one:

First, take this occasion seriously. Like it or not, you will be judged. Take pride in your attire. Guys, leave the wrinkled tattered jeans and concert t-shirts at home and clean up your appearance. Ladies, you are not heading for the gym, so yoga pants are a no-no. The same is true for jeggings, revealing clothing, etc. Treat the event like a job interview and pay attention to the kind of first impression you will make.

Second, nobody knows your significant other's family like your significant other does. Ask questions before hand so that you can plan accordingly. It is customary to bring a gift when meeting your partner's family at their home, but getting the gift right takes research. For example, a bottle of wine is a great gift, except for when his dad is a recovering alcoholic. And flowers are lovely unless her mom is allergic to them. Taking in background information is especially important if your SO's family is from a different culture. Learn customary manners and greetings and show respect for your mate's heritage. Be extra cautious when it comes to addressing members of the household. Ask how the person would like to be addressed before addressing them - a polite way of doing this is by first addressing them as Mr. or Mrs. (last name here) and allow them to give you an alternative if they so desire it.

Third, remember your manners. Do not swear or tell ill-humored jokes or off -colored stories. Always say "please" and "thank you." Compliment when there is occasion for it, but don't be disingenuous about it. One of the easiest ways to remain polite for the entirety of the visit is to avoid consuming alcohol, as impaired judgment does not flatter anyone. Be nice to everyone, including the awful little dog that will not stop jumping on your painstakingly chosen outfit. Remember the common phrase - "If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person." This is especially applicable when it comes to other members of the family, even non-human members. Generally avoid sensitive topics, such as religion and politics.

Finally, show a generous amount of respect toward your date and his family. Treat him/her like they are the most important being in your life. Never ever shame them or embarrass them in front of their family members. This is an important rule to follow at all times - not just on special occasions. People want to be built up by their partner - not brought down.

Lastly, be yourself - or at least be a polite and refined version of yourself. Relax and enjoy the time spent with your honey and his folks. You may be nervous, but that is to be expected. Brushing up on your manners and being a pleasant guest are the best ways to win over your potential in-laws and show your mate that you really care about him/her and their family.