What Love Does and Does Not Do

Do you know love does not do?

It does not keep a record of wrongs. What does that actually mean? It means that you forgive. Forgiveness is the act of releasing someone from a debt that they owe you... whether this is a monetary debt, physical debt or emotional debt, it does not matter.

Steps to Forgiveness:

1) Acknowledgement of the offense

When there is an issue between you and your partner, you need to bring it up and talk about it. If your spouse has offended you and you do not bring it up, you miss an opportunity to show your spouse that you love enough to forgive them and your spouse misses the opportunity to understand you better.

2) Choose to Forgive

When you have offended your spouse, it is obvious that you need to apologize in a sincere manner. Likewise, it should be obvious that when you are the one who is hurt, you need to offer forgiveness. This process releases brings the relationship into balance again and it is vital to the process of forgiveness.

3) Restore the Relationship

After acknowledging the issue and going through the process of asking for forgiveness and giving it, it is important to continue the process of restoration through reconciliation and developing a deeper relationship with your spouse. What can you learn from this and how can you do it better/differently in the future?

4) Extend Grace and Love

When someone has hurt you, be the first to attempt to extend love and grace to your spouse. It is an awesome opportunity to show your spouse that regardless of what they have done, you love them, are committed to them and forgive them. Re-affirming the relationship is the best thing you can do to re-build and restore the trust in the relationship.

5) Stop Talking about it

This is probably one of the most important steps! Once you have forgiven someone - be done with it! Let it go! Bringing it up at any time in the future shows your partner that your word cannot be trusted and are selfish and "choosy" in your love.

Trust is lost in that you had given your word to forgive when you really have not forgiven them. You are selfish in that you place who you are as more important than your spouse is by withholding the love of forgiveness from them.

Acknowledge, Choose, Restore, Extend and Stop (ACRES)

Follow these steps to forgiveness and your relationship will be better for it... This is not just for your marriage, but also for any relationship, you have. I promise you that if you choose forgiveness, you will not only help others but yourself. Grudges are exhausting and as the Sloth from Ice Age said, "I'm too lazy to hold a grudge."